Actors: Joe Marino, Piero Maggio
Director: Joe Marino
Format: Multiple Formats, Anamorphic, NTSC
Language: English (Dolby Surround)
Subtitles: English
Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1
Number of discs: 1
Rated: NR (Not Rated)
Studio: ANCHOR BAY
DVD Release Date: May 19, 2015
Run Time: 76 minutes
Some
bad films are actually quite fun to write reviews for, if only because they
provide the opportunity for creative insults. Sometimes the filmmakers even
fight back (see my recent review for Muck). The
Vatican Exorcisms is another film entirely, so poorly conceived and created
that there is no joy in writing this review, and even less in enduring the
painful attempt at entertainment. Nothing about this film is worthwhile, from
painfully bad acting to cheap special effects, all done under the moronic
pretense of being a “real” found footage film.
Director and
atrocious actor Joe Marino plays himself, as a supposed documentary filmmaker
who travels to Rome in order to investigate the
dark side of the Catholic Church within the Vatican . Hearing rumors of Black
Masses, orgies and demon possessions hidden from the public, our hapless
protagonist tracks down interviews and examines the allegations himself. We are
brought along on this endeavor, forced to sit through countless scenes of shaky
camerawork to make up for the lack of a budget and inability to show any real
special effects. The highlight of the film is a sequence at the end involving a
possession, which is clearly just an actor who is also a contortionist.
Don’t be fooled by any of the DVD
artwork; all of it is misleading and not taken from any actual images within
the film. Carefully constructed, this could have been a clever found footage
film, but instead has the look and feel of something that was thrown together
without much planning. Logic is so sparse within the screenplay that I don’t
even feel the need to discuss it. I will just urge audiences to try any other
film instead. The one thing that I can say about Marino’s film is that it gave
me hope. If he can make a film this shoddy and still find distribution, there
is hope for many other filmmakers, including those with little experience
and/or talent.
The DVD includes a trailer and a
photo gallery. I’m pretty sure they are attempting to keep up the ruse that
this is a real documentary, but anyone with enough education to read this
review is unlikely to be fooled.
Entertainment Value:
0/10
Quality of
Filmmaking: 1/10
Historical
Significance: 0/10
I thought the movie was a bust everything seemed to be rushed and put together as if clips were cut and pasted together to try to make the movie seem real but once you get to the end of the movie and see the last possession, you just want to throw the disk away. From the old house in the beginning that you know is going to play out somehow in the end to the contortionist at the end. The old lady did the best acting out of the four.
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