Would a bride
really take her wedding dress along for a joint bachelor/bachelorette
celebration in the wilderness, far from any location that the actual event will
be held? Would said bride randomly decide to put the dress on once the party
has begun in the remote cabin in the woods? Should the audience expect the kind
of logic that would explain these actions in a poorly made slasher film such as
Death Do Us Part? The answer to all
questions is clearly no, but a lapse in logic is not what makes this such a
poorly constructed horror film. It is everything else makes this film terrible,
which subsequently makes the lack of intelligence in the filmmaking all the
more unforgivable.
Kennedy Jamieson
(Julie Benson) is that bride-to-be, happily determined to marry Ryan Harris
(Peter Benson) despite the obvious problems in their relationship. Ryan is
sleeping with Kennedy’s sister, which is quickly discovered by Kennedy’s best
friend upon arriving at the cabin. When members of the party begin showing up
dead, there are many motives to consider and a cabin full of unsavory
characters capable of the crime. The only thing missing from the equation is a
protagonist deserving of survival and filmmaking that makes any of what happens
the least bit compelling. Even the question of the real culprit is not enough
to keep Death Do Us Part compelling,
and this fault falls nearly entirely at the feet of director Nicholas Humphries
and actors pretending to be screenwriters so that they can beef up their own
roles in the project.
I can appreciate
the desire to make movies with people that we like, as well as I can understand
the urge to orchestrate the projects in order to establish further involvement,
but the filmmaking process of Death Do Us
Part appears to have turned a blind eye to all logic and quality
entertainment in favor of a shitty film nobody in the production could feel
entirely comfortable criticizing. When the two main stars are also the
screenwriters, there is somewhat of a conflict in interest. This could be
prevented if the control was limited there, but add a producer credit and the
fact that these two actors/“screenwriters” are also married and there is no way
that anyone on set would have the freedom to tell them what a bad idea the
entire endeavor is.
I’ve talked a
great deal about why this film failed, but less about what makes it a failure
because there are too many reasons. All of the sadly constructed horror
sequences are dull and unsatisfying, nearly as much as the acting by the entire
nepotistic cast. There are no thrills, barely enough blood and carnage to call
this a slasher, and a pathetic twist ending that seems to be all that this
89-minute-long atrocity is leaning on. The filmmakers should have realized that
this “surprise” ending would not have been strong enough to make enduring a
short film worthwhile, much less a full-length feature. The DVD has a sad
behind-the-scenes featurette as its solitary special feature.
How Hated List
Acting: 9/10
Direction: 10/10
Story: 9/10
Dialogue: 10/10
Characters: 10/10
1= a little hated 5=Hated plenty 10=Get the f*&^ out of here!
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