Horror movies
are not known for having believable acting or clever dialogue, but the
inability to portray believable characters tends to be distracted by the threat
of death that usually dispatches of the bad actors one-by-one. The acting may
not be worse than usual in The Black
Waters of Echo’s Pond, but with a storyline that essentially has the
audience watching a board game being played there is little else to focus on.
The Academy Awards have debated the inclusion of Best Casting Director into
their awards for years, although The
Black Waters of Echo’s Pond makes a far better case for the inclusion of
such an award at the Razzies.
The seemingly
simple premise of The Black Waters of
Echo’s Pond is actually just a lack of content. Horror movies with casting
and dialogue as awful as this one should not take nearly so long to get to the
action. A group of friends with a variety of annoying melodrama get together
for a cabin-in-the-woods type of weekend, resulting in an inevitable struggle
for survival. What makes this film barely unique is a board game that the
friends find in the home. It essentially turns into a game of truth or dare,
although the game board and cards seem to have a supernatural ability when it
comes to the tasks and questions given. The construction of the game itself is
quite comical, and one of the saddest aspects of the film’s production design.
I could actually see the metallic glitter pen used to try and make the cards
look old and creepy, though it did not achieve the desired effect.
Casting director
Corbin Bronson has collected a number of actors that have been consistently bad
through their careers, type casting bad actors from horror movies to be bad
actors in a lower budget horror movie. This mentality is common in Hollywood
These are obnoxious
casting choices, but not even the worst. The film’s most horrendously,
offensively, nauseatingly bad acting comes from two actors who have made a
career out of being twins willing to undress together. They were the babysitter
twins in Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez’s Grindhouse double-feature, and then returned as twin nurses in the Machete franchise. They may fit into the
exploitation world under the novelty of twins in cliché fantasy roles, but
their chance to act in this film is one which should have never been given to
them. Neither one can act, and I can’t imagine that either has a career without
one twin dressing up in a matching Halloween costume beside the other.
There are some
horror elements of this film which distract slightly from the terrible acting
and uninspired screenplay, but it is too little and far too late. The
filmmakers should have realized first and foremost that watching a group of
characters play a board game is not compelling cinema. The Blu-ray special
features include an alternate opening.
Entertainment Value:
3/10
Quality of
Filmmaking: 3/10
Historical
Significance: 0/10
Disc Features: 2/10
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